:: Insanity at works.... ::
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My grandmama passed away.
She's a mom. A mom that even my own mother could not really get there. She loves me for all my faults, my mistakes, my stubborness, my ugliness, my impatience, my sometimes fucked-up logic. She cooked me my favourite dish, my will-be favourite dish, my not-so-favourite-but-I-eat-it-anyway because of her. She's really really patience with me. She touched me when I hate being touched, kissed me when I hate being kissed, and play with my hair when I hate my own hair. She's an independent woman, she doesn't take shit from anybody, not from her own colleague, and not from her any of the cutesy kiddies that think they can get away with sutff just cos they're kids.
She was in ICU for three days. I managed to get one last kiss from her. She didn't give me any last advice, and I didn't ask for any, because I told her, don't worry grandmama, we can live. You just gonna leave us to go to eternity. Remember when I'm going to the UK? I did not cry, I did not feel sad, nervous yes, but it's ok. I suppose it's the same thing with my grandmama. She did not cry, those who leaves us don't cry. It's those who stay behind did.
Maybe I love my grandmama, I don't know. I'll do anything for her, even attempting make-up and try to act like a lady, becayse she said if I care about her, please do so. I tried, and still feel uncomfortable. But I told her, I don't want people to like me because I'm pretty and stuff, but please like me because I'm funny, I'm cool, I'm smart, and I'm fun to be with. There was this one, we had a conversation over the phone. And he seems to like me that much. But when we met, he won't even look at me, and knowing myself, I know it's not something he expected.
So my grandmama understands. I hope she does. She passed away, Monday, 17th May 2004, at the age of 76, after three days in ICU. A week before I turn 26th. Grandmama, we miss you. I love you even I don't say it. Thank you for putting up with me for so long. I'll see you later ok?
:: Yours Truly.... 8:54 AM [+] ::
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